Aug 8 2013
So many years ago Baby Knockors played Rainier School in Buckley, Washington. It was a gig to be remembered like Rock music at One Flew over the Koo-Koos Nest. The audience arrived early and packed the stage studying every cord we plugged in, every piece of equipment we jostled into position and jabbered constantly amongst themselves. There were all kinds of odd shapes and peculiar looking folks. Very fat, very tall, very skinny and even very old though the age span was like 13 to 17. "I know who the Beatles are" one large breasted student exclaimed repeatedly through her brush painted Blue football helmet. I don't know what the purpose is of these helmets that really look football style with the small bar in front of their mouth. There were 5-6 of these helmeted crazy babes. Somebody said it was to protect their skull from something . I don't know.
It didn't take us too long to figure out we needed to move our equipment back from the stage edge because the listeners to our show were sticking their fingers into the speaker grids and actually poking holes in the speaker cones. They grabbed mic stands, and even tried to talk on the mic when nothing was hooked up and they all laughed, and laughed over that. Mongoloids were everywhere with the spaced eyes, their jovial demeanors, and short squatty bodies.
"to them I was a rock star...and we were the Beatles!"
We started with Twist and Shout which pleased the girl "Who knows who the Beatles are." And every last kid was out on that dance floor, and they whooped and screamed like the joyous simpletons they were. We played about an hour show which was about all they could take ! Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys, Jailhouse Rock and our list of Tavern rock tunes wound the kids pretty tight. To the point where a couple of the football helmet clad rockers threw up on the dance floor which made the lights come up while maintenance mopped up the splat...and then the grand finale was the sweater girls pulling their sweaters up to expose big bouncy loony toon titties. They came right up to the front of the stage to the delight of the band and flashed their fun bags right in our faces and we all howled with laughter. So management jumps in and says, "I think the "clients" have had enough...shut it down." And so we did. We turned off, and said Good bye...to the dismay of the audience. They moaned literally in unison because we stopped. There were about 4 school personnel policing the event accompanied by numerous onlookers in the back, many of which congratulated us on really entertaining the kids. The reviews were all good. And we didn't get paid a dime. But I wasn't quite done with this most exuberant audience.
After the last song...I leaned out over the end of the stage and stared into all those smiling screaming crazy faces...and they reached out arms thrashing...so I attempted to shake hands with one of the enthusiastic fans crowded in the front of the stage and his hand shake actually pulled me into that frenzied pile of fans. Over the stage edge I went which wasn't too far...it was a school gymnasium after all. Poking and pulling and all trying to talk to me. And the girl...Repeating..."I know who the Beatles are...I know who the Beatles are...I was laughing but this was peculiar...one of the girls was trying to pull my shirt out of my pants which was making me a bit nervous because there were so many of them and I wasn't really sure where they would stop, or if they would stop! Finally I crouched to the floor, and then stood up and now I was surrounded by about 20 or so nutty residents of the State Mental Hospital and I must admit it was wondrous. This crowd was more enthusiastic and more eager to participate in any show we'd ever done in a tavern They never saw me before but to them I was a Rock star and we WERE the Beatles.
We shook hands and Gave hi 5's, and one of the mongoloids said he wrote a song..."You did I said." "Do you wanna hear it ? "Yah...sing it..." " I made friends with allota people in the danger zone"...He screamed in his mongoloid voice..."I gotta get outta here...I gotta get outta here...You know what that was doncha ?" He asked and I said. Its Alice Cooper...you've been listening to Alice Cooper! "Yah yer right...my brother told me to listen to Alice Cooper cuz its good for people who live in a Nut House. And I live in a Nut House. And so I said, "What was your name ?" "Alan"....I said, " Alan there are alotta nuts living in allota homes all over the place. Yer not the Lone Ranger on that." "I know Dead Babies too." He continued. "Alright I gotta go." so I returned to the stage to help carry gear out to the truck. I waved good bye to my crazy audience. Got asked for an autograph by the "I Know who the Beatles are" girl. She gave me one of those big fat crayons like they use in kindergarten. I waited for a slip of paper but she was busy pulling her sleeve up to show me her arm was in a cast. She'd broken her arm somehow and she wanted me to sign her cast. And so I did...J O...H...N.. L...E...N...N...O...N I scribbled on the white casting. She scurried away in a rush to show her friends...all the while..."I know who the Beatles are."
Buckwheat Catapillar has contacted several Insane Asylums so perhaps there might be another chapter to the Nuthouse Tour ? Stay tuned to Twitter or Buckwheatcatapillar.com. Buckwheat Catapillar music is available at CDBABY, BandCamp, and Northwest Convergence Zone as well as 11Radio.com are playing cuts from the new album, Anxiety.
July 4th 2013
So Johnny and Buckwheat put on their suits and head for the freedom Fair in the 1931 Model A ford...waving to spectators and stopping to sing a song or two.
I Must be a Cowboy was a hit in the front yard of the former guitarist for Teaser..a rock group we couldn't quite remember...and on we walked block after block down Macarver Hill singing to unruly tall and lanky black boys who wanted to hear hip hop. So we played what we play like it or not. 30 seconds later it was hi fives and thank yous. Made 17 dollars this year that's a new first. Buckwheat Catapillar breaks another record. Meta fellow who was on the JP Patches show. His teeth were crooked and his freckles were dark. I told him about JP announcing my birthday on his show and he told me to look in the dryer for my birthday gift. So I did. In the laundry room the dryer was spinning. I turned the dryer off. My kitten was very dry and fluffy. Downey was in the air.
So that's another Freedom Fair in Tacoma........................bc